I used to shrink from 95 degree heat, and I find it almost outrageously funny that in the last few months, I've found myself laying out in that same heat, taking it all in, happily into my skin.
I often find a shady tree to lie under and I feel the cool of the heat that washes over me under that tree. I take stock, as I have over the last few months, as to how lucky I am to be here again.
It's not that Portland was all bad---and even if it were, I needed that year of crushing gloom to realize where home really was for me; to be thankful for Los Angeles.
From here on out, I'm going to try to paint my time in Portland not as a "bad year" as I so often hear myself saying----but as the year that was hard, and inevitably led me to the greatness that is now.
Amidst all the fear of disappointment, all of the fear that I won't write---something I desperately want to do---I know I will find my way into a career that makes me happy. Something creative and fulfilling. Right now, I'm trying to be more than content over the opportunities I have in my lap, and the love I have in my life.
I, Carolyn Neuhausen, am loved, in a way I thought was impossible in the past. And as this means so much to me, I am basking in the glow of it.
Equal parts ambition, fortitude, persistence and personal championing will get me to the place I want to be at. Of this, I am (almost) certain!
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