Friday, February 12, 2010

The Walrus said...

"The time has come, the Walrus said
to talk of many things:
of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax--
of cabbages--and kings--
and why the sea is boiling hot--
and whether pigs have wings."

---Lewis Carroll

Why start a blog this way, I cannot say, only that this childhood rhyme, which I used to read to myself out loud in a sing-song voice just came to me.

The time has come...perhaps this is why I chose the poem, for the time has come for me to move on from Los Angeles Magazine. A good internship I've had, and I'm leaving a sort of security net. It seems that making a choice between two important things has become increasingly difficult for me. For each road I take, I think of the other road's lost opportunities and awaiting gains. The idea that the road not taken may afford something better for me, which might ultimately change my life in a way I'd like it to, weighs heavily on me and the decision becomes more torturous to make.

I feel this way about LA Mag. I probably could remain an intern for a few more months, or even a few years, hoping to land a staff spot at the magazine. But, I am good enough to write articles, not simply fact check, and although the market may be the toughest it's ever been, I know I am a solid writer, deserving of pay for articles.

Where to now? I don't know. Am I scared? Yes. But here's at least one thing I learned during my tenure at the magazine: if you're not confident in yourself, why should anyone else be? If you're a horse you wouldn't bet on, why expect anyone else to bet on you either?