Please Show Me a Sign

This time of year is supposed to be filled with a spirit of peace towards fellow man (or woman, child or animal) and the spirit of giving. There are so many commercials during this time, asking for help regarding humane society issues, funds for the protection and preservation of exotic animals, and aid to children in the third world. 

I know that I feel paralyzed because I feel as though there are so many things in this world that need to be fixed and there aren't enough resources or time to get all things fixed the way they should be. I ask the Lord in a reverent tone as to what I should do. "Oh Lord, I don't know what to do; I want to be efficient and I want to help make things better. I want to end suffering and help animals live in ways that cause nothing but healthy survival." 

And then I grow angry at God. Mentally shaking my fist at the sky, begging why God has made this life and this world so difficult to help and to live in. With so many things in need how is it possible to make a difference? And I know that some people will say that it only matters that I can help in my own small way, that it matters if I can ease the life of one animal or one person. But in some ways, it's not enough. It's not enough for me to help just one animal when polar bears as a species are dying because they can't keep swimming from melting ice patch to melting ice patch. It's not enough to save one polar bear, when we face the possibility of the extinction of a magnificent creature. It's not enough to save one tiger that was hunted by poachers, because we need more than one, or two or even three to breed healthier generations.

I know that a journey starts with one step and that things only get done one step at a time. But these problems are so large in scale and are so overwhelming, and God made many people with the flaw of looking at the end result instead of the process that so many of us feel defeated before we even start. 

I ask that God show me a sign. I need to believe that it is possible to make lasting differences, to inspire and to succeed in ways that are mutually inclusive. I need to know that it is possible to seek wealth and still seek the betterment of other things without those two goals negating each other. 

I've said for years that people need a sign. I know that some people say signs abound all the time, but this isn't so. Those of us who have major potential and passion to change things are skeptics and we need more than a crying Madonna statue or a Jesus face in two day donut, or a sick child who can heal others. We need to walk among and meet this Jesus, in any form that the divine shows itself. I need to meet this person and speak with he or she and know for real, that evil exists but good always wins.