Green Lake, Seattle

A year ago I was witness to my dear friend Emily getting married in Portland. Andrew sat beside me, his arm reassuringly around my shoulders and his hand in mine.

It's been about a year and it hurts when I think that he and I aren't together. It's strange, that I have this compulsion to want to make things permanent with all things and all people, as if having the relationship with the same person in the future makes the memories of our past that much more real. A falsity I know, since past, present and future exist as separate entities; memories made in the past can't be touched or erased because they exist no matter what the present or future holds. In this way, I know, as I get sad from time to time about us, that the time Andrew and I spent together remains, pristine and special, hanging somewhere in the ether, protected.

I'll be going to Seattle this July, and Seattle only conjures up memories of him and I, sharing a hotel room, showing him my favorite city, the kick ass EMP-SCI FI museum, the Space Needle, the way Seattleites dedicate wasted sidewalk grass strips to vegetable gardening. I remember that it was gray and a bit damp (shocker), but the greens, oh my gawd, the greens of the grasses and the leaves, the vibrant colors of the tulips that just jumped from the petals to hit you in the eyes, all of it was glorious.

My favorite Seattle memory from that time was this: although it was evening the sun stayed out late, so much in fact that Andrew and I were walking around and taking buses at 9pm, because the sun had set so fast, catching us off guard.

It was about 7:30 when Andrew and I got off the bus from the University district and we were lost, but decided to walk around anyway. There in the distance, ahead of newly built townhouses and modest, lovely homes, was a big lake glimmering in the sunlight. The sun peaked low on the horizon  but strong, and shining its rays on the water so that the reflection was a light orange. A large running path wound its way around the lake. A desert girl, I appreciate rain and water the way most Mid-Westerners appreciate warmth in the depth of winter. I looked on this stunning view and thought, wow, what a beautiful place to live.

He and I will always have that memory, that sun set and the Green Lake.